Salt and Light: Gratuitous Un-Lentenlike Mancake

I've decided that I am not giving up this photo for Lent.

(from NPR's Facebook page)

The female form has been vaunted as the apex of natural beauty, but I think it's just because historically, kind and flattering men were typically its keenest observers. I offer this beautiful photo statement in reply - I am not objectifying, only reverential in acknowledging my awe of Creation.

Wow, guys. I do not have the words to express my admiration....Amen, comes to mind.

Counted as Joy

It's hard to not feel conflicted as a mother at home, a keeper of home. I chose my job, I choose my job everyday, in fact. I write my own assignments and lesson plans, I take the A's and F's alike, without the raw consequences my husband or other work away parents would suffer.

Like being fired.

I have yet to even get a warning, but fail I do, and quite regularly, quite spectacularly.

The conflict comes with the burden of choice: There are things that MUST be done - like, you have to feed the children so they don't starve. To say that's done exclusively out of love wouldn't be entirely honest - I mean, nobody wants to listen to a toddler whine for Cheerios watch a little child go hungry. Then there are the 2.0 activities that we sign ourselves up for, reaching out beyond the entirely necessary, like making King Cake, or troop/pack/sports meetings, that we do mostly out of love, but in some ways out of a need for recognition.

As in Can you see me making you happy?.

This is a difficult trade route in the human economy, because - well - no, not really, we often cannot see what others are doing for us, or on our behalf, because it's jumbled in with the routine of musts, and the spirit is often overlooked, or even disregarded, depending on our mood or our attention span any given day.

The thing is, when things are pursued in the spirit of joy, rather than perfection, or recognition, or even simple check-list accomplishment we're removing occasions to sin during trials that aren't really trials, just necessary parts of days, days that are sometimes rewarding and sometimes just ordinary.

It is not a sin to fail - it would be a sin to miss the spirit of generosity when a King Cake sputters out all of its filling, and burns a little, and instead of disappointment the baker is met with "well, so, put the icing and the sprinkles and the plastic baby on it - that's what makes it King Cake!"

So I did, and my superficial failure was redeemed by something far more significant.

It is not a sin to fail. It can be a lovely blessing. Sweet as purple sugar.

The influence of Saints

Yesterday we celebrated the Epiphany, that second Christmas. It seemed like a logical day to pray for the guidance of a new patron, and then spin the wheel at the Saint's Name Generator and see who my teacher for the year might be.

But I changed my mind. I'm hoping St. Mary of Egypt won't mind me clinging on to her for another year. I am haunted by her in some ways, probably because I really only bothered with a cursory knowledge of her. I was sort of stunted by my fascination with her, so it seems a shame to leave off when I've only just begun to appreciate her fully.

St. Mary of Egypt, Pray for Us!

Veni, veni....

O come, O come, Emmanuel,
And ransom captive Israel,
That mourns in lonely exile here
Until the Son of God appear.

Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, Thou Wisdom from on high,
Who orderest all things mightily;
To us the path of knowledge show,
And teach us in her ways to go.

O come, Thou Rod of Jesse, free
Thine own from Satan’s tyranny;
From depths of hell Thy people save,
And give them victory over the grave.

O come, Thou Day-spring, come and cheer
Our spirits by Thine advent here;
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night,
And death’s dark shadows put to flight.

O come, Thou Key of David, come,
And open wide our heavenly home;
Make safe the way that leads on high,
And close the path to misery.

O come, O come, great Lord of might,
Who to Thy tribes on Sinai’s height
In ancient times once gave the law
In cloud and majesty and awe.

O come, Thou Root of Jesse’s tree,
An ensign of Thy people be;
Before Thee rulers silent fall;
All peoples on Thy mercy call.

O come, Desire of nations, bind
In one the hearts of all mankind;
Bid Thou our sad divisions cease,
And be Thyself our King of Peace.

trans. John M. Neale, arr. Thomas Helmore

Menu Planning and the $100/day challenge

LONG POST ALERT - you have been warned....

It's amazing what a difference something as simple as planning a weeks worth of menus around sales and the occasional coupon can make in grocery savings and in general household organization. There are a million sites that offer coupon information, sale matching, etc, most are free, others charge a nominal administration/access fees. There are a few links at the bottom, and I really don't have much to add, so I'll let the more experienced and dedicated folks take it from here as far as that goes.

As for organization, I think it's often overlooked as a co-equal benefit of this exercise. I would go so far as to add that even if one forgoes coupons, taking the time to plan the weeks meals saves money by way of efficiency and even accountability.

Here's our Top 5 of why it's important for us:

1) we only have so many dollars to spend on food and groceries, and Home Economics 101 is maximizing resources. It is necessary in order for our budget to balance and to have nutritionally sound food in the house for health and well-being. Value is paramount, quantity without quality is no substitute.

2) it's my job. Or one of them. Our household agreement is that I am the kitchen and pantry manager. I'm in charge of keeping us fed. With that in mind, planning menus keeps shopping and meal prep efficient and a part of the daily routine, rather than a wild goose chase from when the first kid asks "what's for dinner?" to the grocery store to hoping the meat will thaw in time to having canned green beans AGAIN because you forgot to buy the fresh ones on sale, or forgot you had them and they've gone compost in your vegetable bin, along with a lemon leftover from Easter brunch and those baby eggplant from last month's farmer's market you just had to have.
It avoids waste of both food and time.

3) it preserves orderliness (and an underrated emotional commodity known as sanity). I'm an adequate parent, but I'm not a great "Mommy". It annoys me when people use my good scissors to cut paper, and I become irrational when I am repeatedly asked the same question. As I mentioned above "what's for dinner?" will come up, and if I don't have an answer, it will come up at least twice per child and probably again from my husband. "I don't know." never satisfies, as they then move on to "when will you know what's for dinner?" . Look, plan the menu, post it on the fridge, remind them once and perfect your maternal glare for the occasional forgetful infraction. It's just easier.

4) putting it in writing is a good exercise in commitment as well as a friendly reminder to yourself. No, it's not life or death, and if you never write it down the sun will still rise and set. It's simply a matter of human nature - you've written it down, meaning you're more likely to remember what you've got and that you need to use it, and you've posted it for others to see and either agree to or edit (husband only, at this point).

5) it helps to avoid budget busting by planning according to the family calendar - practices, meetings, and other outings can all be occasions to dive off the fast food wagon into a sea of regret and heartbreak. I'm exaggerating, of course, but nothing is more frustrating than setting out with good intentions, only to be thwarted by something entirely avoidable. It's easy to spend several days worth of groceries on a single trip through a drive-thru anymore, so it's not a stretch to say that failing to plan is planning to fail where meals are concerned.

So, there you have it. My inclination is to buy what I like and cook as I please, and guess what, I do that. Because I've planned within our means, often I can afford to be spontaneous if a treat is warranted or there is a special on a family favorite that I hadn't anticipated. It is not restrictive - in fact, it's quite freeing. Good, right?

As for how it ties into the $100/day Challenge, it's a matter of a little discipline and simple savings.

- Plan menus, for all three meals, on a weekly basis, extended out to include leftovers, duplicate meals, and matching sales with coupons. anticipated savings: $600/yr
- eliminate most alcoholic beverages (limit to special occasions rather than at table). anticipated savings: $1200/yr*
- don't buy ice (we don't have an ice maker and I've been lazy about ice trays, plus I love machine ice). anticipated savings: $100/yr
- eliminate monthly fast food outing anticipated savings: $200/yr

* thoughts on alcohol: People, we like our booze around here, but not to the tune of $1200/year. Seriously, I was floored by this figure - two or three bottles of wine a week, plus a bottle a month of rum or vodka and mixer for cocktails is what we routinely buy, and we're not talking top shelf, and BAM - $100/mo. I'm not suggesting anyone should tea total, but it might be worth considering how much value there is in liquid entertainment. YMMV. For now, we're adding a couple of favorites to our Christmas lists, and drinking iced tea.

Total food and grocery savings: $2100/yr.

Not bad. That's 21 days of our challenge to add to the 27.5 already tallied, for a grand total of $4850 annual savings. It's amazing how fast little efforts add up.

My favorite sites for grocery savings and couponing information and forums:

Saving Naturally
Hip2Save
Totally Target
A Full Cup
Grocery Game

Our dinner menu this week:

Monday - grilled steak and shrimp, creamed spinach, steak fries
Tuesday - coconut chicken tenders, coleslaw
Wednesday - sausage, broccoli with cheese sauce, tomato salad
Thursday - roast turkey, rice with mirepoix, green beans with mushrooms and bacon
Friday - tostadas with refried beans, cheese, avocado, shredded lettuce and pico de gallo
Saturday - turkey and sausage gumbo stew over rice, green salad

(Friends at TC will post their menus today, too - come see, and join in. )

Bon appetit!

7 Things I've changed my mind about kinda recently

Seriously, I can't get off the themes for Seven Quick Takes, it's like a tick or something. I don't think in themes, actually, the process is generally all very random, I just can't seem to not have a group of ideas that need expressing about one Friday every other month so here we are! You gotta love 7QT, and gracious hostess Jennifer at Conversion Diary, so join in, random thoughts, themes, recipes, whatever.

So, things I've rethought and changed my mind about:

1) Glenn Beck - he's too angst-y and hysterical for me now. I've got that covered on my own, thankyouverymuch. I've only every listened occasionally, but back when his show had some comedic merit, when he talked about things other than Obama, gold, and assorted boogey men, I would get tickled - he even had a decent interview with an entertainer now and then. Now it's just a string of freak outs, and like I said, I'm totally covered on that one. Buh-bye, GB, I do wish you well.

2) brown rice - a long time ago on this blog I posted my fail-proof method of preparing brown rice, and extolled it's virtues above those of it's inferior polished cousin. While I still stand by the method, I now prefer white rice. Not only do I like it better (on the rare occasions I eat it - brown or white, it's too starchy for me), it's easier to prepare, it's a highly digestible and sound starch, very inexpensive (though it's going up and up, like everything), and suitable for storing long term. *like*. Brown rice has become something of a symbol of a time in my life when I both made things harder than they had to be in order to impress people who did not care, and a kind of mistaken concept of Holy Eating. Weird, I know.

3) freshly ground black pepper - this is about laziness, and the fact that I couldn't find whole peppercorns in bulk in my entire town, and I wasn't going to pay something like $95/lb for the little glass jars with what, maybe a months worth in them? So, add cheapness to laziness. I ordered the wrong thing from Amazon, thinking it was peppercorns when it was actually already ground, and we LOVE it. It's fresh tasting, nice big (if a little too uniform) flakes that are the right amount of spicy, what's not to love? When you use black pepper like we do, this is tremendously important. I still love fresh, I'm just not the snob I thought I was.

4) women should cut their long hair when they turn 40 - who thought this up? How about this: if you want to cut your hair, cut it, if you don't, then don't. This "rule" was planted in my brain by my own mother, who was an employment counselor for years and I think very dedicated to the idea that a polished appearance was essential to the conventional workplace, and I think she was probably right. However, being a non-conventional workplace (my garage and my kitchen table) employee, I like my pony-tail, and I like the styling versatility that wouldn't be available if I cut my hair short, and (gasp!) my husband prefers it long, too. I've noticed lots of very attractive women, some older than me, who have hair that flatters their faces and looks terrific - it's a superficial thing, I guess, but it's a good reminder to avoid the hazards of adopting what amounts to the simple preferences as some sort of law.

5) I will die without bread - clearly, I haven't. And I don't even crave it, really. This is big news for me, as I could just as easily make a meal of a restaurant bread basket as order off the menu, followed by another bread basket for dessert.

6) flat screen tv's - yes, I'm that person. I thought the whole thing was a scam, really. I vowed that I would not get caught in the trap of buying electronics just because they were made available, and I've managed to avoid iEverthings and texting and talking refrigerators, etc...we had a perfectly nice, functional tube television that served us just fine, until last Christmas. My family is slightly embarrassed, I think, by my lack of style where these sorts of things are concerned, and so gifted us a flat screen. I am totally sold. We kept the old tube model for a couple of weeks, thinking we'd set it up in the guest room or our room, but it seemed to be such a beast compared to the flat, and i just didn't want to sacrifice the eight square feet it took up for one more minute. We don't watch enough t.v. to warrant having two, anyway, so out it went. I am converted.

7) college for everyone - don't misunderstand me, I think everyone should be educated, but not everyone needs to do it in an institutional setting over the course of four or fourteen years to the tune of six figures. My idolization of higher education (in the conventional sense) has been challenged, recently. I see a lot of opportunity cost and low return on investment for people who might be better served with a more creative approach to professional training and workforce alignment, oh, and little things like gifts and talents. False barriers to entry and credentialism are costing us valuable brain power - ironically, a lot of it in the area of education. Surely we can think of a better more viable system than the one we're currently feeding - it is an impossible hunger to satisfy.


Now aren't you glad you asked? Happy weekend, beloved!

No. 1: Live in every inch of your house, right now.

You know your kids are going to mess this up, right?



Here's what I mean - the difference between a house, be it high or humble, and a home are the people who live in it. Honoring that fact should be what informs any decoration. If you have things that are so precious that it makes you anxious to have your small children within ten feet of them, you might have discovered a delicious opportunity to teach your children value - what is important, how to care for something fragile, and how to live within the soft boundaries of a given season of life.

Relationship, respect, reality.

High expectations are not unrealistic ones - they respect relationships.

One of our favorite things is the artistic creativity our children express - they are forever writing, drawing, painting, building. It is amazing that this sort of focused play is so relaxing, for all of us, and also drives the ability to concentrate - play begets good work product, as it turns out. Because we appreciate that so deeply as part of their developing character, and because they live in this home, and influence every inch of it, we've decided to display their artwork in a gallery of sorts - our hallway. There's just one small catch - our hallway currently looks like this:



and this:






Oh, my, when will the magic hallway painting fairy return, considering she's been MIA for like three weeks? Check back later, I'm going to try and reach her on her cell, and share with her my high, but realistic, expectations....